I survived my first week of classes! Right now, I’m taking Biochemistry, Genetics, Molecular Biology, Cell Tissue and Organ Biology, Medical Interviewing, probably some other biologies, and we’ve had Patient Presentations every day. Making my typical schedule as follows:
6AM: Alarm goes off
6:15AM: Get out of bed
6:45AM: Leave apartment
6:47AM: See the train I wanted to be on leave without me
6:58AM: Get on another train into the city
7:25AM: Arrive in Chinatown
7:26AM: Pass by Dunkin Donuts
7:26AM: Pass by Dunkin Donuts
7:27AM: Pass by a Dunkin Donuts
7:28AM: If I didn’t have breakfast, succumb to the power of suggestion and buy a bagel and/or juice from Dunkin Donuts
7:30-7:45AM: Print out lecture slides from library
7:48AM: Use the bathroom in a building that doesn’t have the library or the lecture hall I need to go to, just because the stalls are roomy
8:00AM: Go to lecture
8:00AM-12:15PM: Be really confused
12:15PM-12:53PM: If I didn’t bring a lunch, be indecisive about what to do about lunch
12:53PM-12:56PM: Wait in line for lunch
12:56PM-12:57PM: Eat lunch and walk back to lecture
1:00PM-3:00PM: Be confused and moderately comatose
Some days I’ve had five lectures for four classes, but it’s all very interesting
For example, we learned about the parasitic disease toxoplasmosis. It’s primarily found in cats, and is present in their feces.
It can cause birth defects in humans, which is why expectant mothers shouldn’t change cat litter. Now not only do I need to have a child (for primo airline seats), but now I have to carry it as well so that I can get out of changing cat litter. Because I did that so much at home.
We also learned about Clostridium difficile which is seen after surgeries, because the post-surgical antibiotics kill the body’s natural “bacterial flora” (it sounds kinda purty), leaving the intestinal tract open to infection. Someone asked a good question about preventing this disease—they asked if doctors are giving probiotics to help the body replace the “bacterial flora” before infection can take place. I guess they don’t really do that, and they’ve actually found that an effective preventative measure is for the patient to ingest the feces of a healthy person. Which is why I now suggest that 2girls, 1cup be renamed 2patients, 1 cure.
Besides science with fun diseases thrown in, we’ve also started our medical interviewing course. We have to dress up, but we get to go to an off-site hospital (or retirement home, depending on your group) and talk with patients (or retirement home residents) there. My hospital site is really close to my apartment, which is nice for when the class is done, except we always have class beforehand. So I still have to get up at 6AM, go to lecture, and have an hour to eat lunch and get to my site (it takes about 40 minutes for me to get to school on the train). So I made sure to pack a lunch, but I’d have to eat it on the train. But that’s awkward, and possibly not allowed.
However, since I’m neurotic, my thought process for lunch went as follows:
"Oh god, what if I get hypoglycemic during the interview?"
"Oh god, what if the patient I’m talking to is diabetic?"
"Oh god, what if the patient goes into hypoglycemia the same time I do, and the doctors don’t know which one of us to help first?"
"I better eat my sandwich"
I didn’t get yelled at, so I guess PB&J is okay on Boston public transportation, if you’re looking for a travel tip.
At the site, my group interviewed a really nice patient, but due to medical ethics and federal regulations, I can’t tell you anything about them, unless you blackmail me or threaten to tickle me.
Other than that, I’m still getting settled into my new Bostonian life. I finally got my bed and futon, which make me feel like less of a squatter. I also bit the bullet and submitted my order for medical equipment. I got an ophthalmoscope (to look at the eyes), an otoscope (for the ears/throat), a stethoscope, and a bottle of Scope (for that minty refreshed feeling). I also got my stethoscope to have my name engraved on it. I wanted to get something cooler engraved on it, like “Dr. B Middy” or “Batman,” but they keep stressing professionalism or something here. The second years keep saying that they didn’t use the non-stethoscope equipment very much, since most hospital rooms are equipped with those, but I’m thinking of going into Family Medicine, where I’ll need my own set. So when you see me, prepare to be improperly examined (and diagnosed), so that I can get my money’s worth.
With all of these purchases, I’m now pretty wary of spending money on anything else, and buying and maintaining quality groceries has always been the lowest priority when it comes to what I spend my money on. Below underappreciated DVDs, below cool 8x10 photos, below Pop Rocks, and below Mexican jumping beans.
Going along with this, I’ve recently discovered that my hot kitchen is not a great place for, say, perishables. I bought some bananas, thinking they’d be okay, because my humid kitchen is like a jungle, and bananas grow in the jungle. So really, I should’ve had bigger bananas over time. But this wasn’t the case.
Instead, they got mushy in a matter of days, and I tried to pull two apart, they both burst open and liquid banana came out of both. But I’m in no position to throw away food just because it “has weird properties,” so I ate them anyway. Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride.
When I’m not in class or eating semi-liquid food, I continue to wander around Boston. While on my way to the library, I came across a store called Downtown DVD. Being an aspiring connoisseur of all things DVD, I decided to pop in. But all they had were a bunch of weird 80’s movies that I had never heard of. I could tell they were from the 80’s, because they all had that characteristic 80’s-movie cover: light blue background and grainy close-ups of the actors. See?
Anyway, as I moved on, I saw a bunch of random kids DVDs too, and that was it. Sensing my dissatisfaction, the shopkeep told me, “There’s more in the back.” Happy to escape this time machine of a DVD section, I went through the door to the other DVDs he mentioned.
As I saw their expanded selection of DVDs, I thought “Hmm, MILFs Next Door #2… will it answer all of my questions from the first one?” Then I thought “OMG I’M IN A PORN STORE.” There’s no real way to play it cool then. There was a guy laying down asleep behind the counter, so at least I didn’t have any other conscious witnesses. So I waited a few seconds, admired the store’s immaculate sorting of wares by fetish, and left—with the guy behind the counter probably thinking I left because they didn’t have anything to satisfy my sick needs.
But I guess I'll continue to explore Boston. Stay tuned, because next time I'll probably end up wandering into a speakeasy.
Bobby
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